


your hands my name

by Plumasicera



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, First Time, First time having sex, It doesn't always go well on the first try, M/M, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:28:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27982311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plumasicera/pseuds/Plumasicera
Summary: It’s─ new, and strange, and unlike anything Hajime has ever experienced before but at the same time it’s kind of familiar, being here with Tooru, both daring and eager and panting together, pushing forward, waging war and making love─“Hajime,” he says, lips brushing against his. “Hajime, I love you so much.”Hajime parts his lips and a small breath escapes them. His thumb presses against the soft flesh of Tooru’s wrist (those powerful, aristocratic wrists) and then he meets his mouth.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 10
Kudos: 137
Collections: IwaOi Week 2020





	your hands my name

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [IwaoiWeek2020](https://twitter.com/iwaoiweek) prompt for day 9: firsts.

The first time they fuck, it goes like this:

They are at Oikawa’s home, alone and aroused, wrapped around each other on Tooru’s futon ─world cold and dark outside the window, cold and dark outside the yellow glow of lamplight, cold and dark outside the intimate touch of warm skin.

They’ve been like this before, all pliable and hot and quiet─ lying on their sides, gasping sweetly in each other’s mouth, with fingers tracing hard lines and hands sliding down broad backs and cocks rubbing against each other’s thighs.

“Hajime,” Tooru whispers reverently and buries his hand in Hajime’s hair. Hajime hums. A slur of words passes between them, a slow murmur interlaced with sighs and half-moaned names─

( _Hajime− Mh, yeah− yeah, right there)_

low and still slightly hesitant pledges─

( _Do you like this? Do you− ah−, can I−_ )

and hot, trembling confessions─

( _I wanna touch you. I wanna− ah, I wanna feel you_ ) 

and 

_(Touch me. Ah, Tooru, please, touch me. Touch me or I’ll−_ )

Hajime’s voice dies with a content breath. He tilts his head back and Tooru kisses his exposed throat, loving lips finding that secret, tender place beneath his jaw he discovered just a couple of weeks ago. Hajime sighs throwing his head further back─ he draws Tooru against him with a hand on his hip and Tooru complies, lips parting, mouth opening, fangs slowly grazing skin. Hajime moans, and his hand slips on Tooru’s sweaty skin until it grabs at his ass.

They both freeze.

Tooru’s breath crashes against Hajime’s throat, hot and wet, and their bodies buzz, the two of them tightened and impossibly charged.

A heartbeat passes by.

Tooru sighs.

The first time they fuck, it goes like this:

“Hajime,” Tooru drawls against him, voice raspy and so, so low. 

“Hajime,” Tooru drawls, and suddenly Hajime is moving, shivering and pressing himself against Tooru, strong and welcoming, closing his eyes.

“Yeah,” he answers to the unspoken question. “I− Yeah. _Fuck−_ yeah.”

Tooru kisses him deep and raw and breathes deeply before he untangles himself from Hajime.

“Be right back,” he says against his skin, heat simmering within thick layers of heavy, unadulterated want. He returns with a wrapped condom and an unopened bottle of lube and they’ve never talked about this but somehow it’s obvious they’ve thought about it, and researched it and─ fuck, probably fantasized about it a couple of (or one too many) times.

Pupils dilated and blood dense and warm, Hajime’s hand moves to Tooru’s thigh as soon as he sits again next to him, bodies coming together, easy as breathing; with Tooru’s chest pressed against Hajime’s shoulder, and Tooru’s forehead resting against his temple and Tooru’s hot breath brushing against his neck.

“How do you wanna do it?” Hajime asks, and Tooru breathes him in before he answers.

“You do it,” he exhales nuzzling him. “I’m better at relaxing. I’m better− I’m better at relaxing when there’s pain,” he says, lips dragging slowly over his cheek.

It’s true.

Hajime’s hand moves on its own to curl around Tooru’s knee, a haunting memory of injuries and physical therapy creeping into his mind; a haunting memory of Tooru inhaling deeply through hard-clenched teeth─ a white dressed doctor smoothly stretching his leg, mercilessly trying his knee.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay,” he says hoarsely.

Tooru tilts Hajime’s head and they kiss again, liquid bites at each other’s lips, mouths open and heated, hands touching and giving and taking, young and inexperienced and trusting and sure. It is familiar until it’s not, until Hajime coats his fingers with lube, until he presses the first one into Tooru, until suddenly everything is hot, hot, hot.

“Okay?” Hajime asks, panting heavily. Tooru nods, body expanding, arms stretching over his head bending and gripping the pillow, beautiful and oscillating like the sea. 

“Yeah,” he says breathless and thick. “Another. Add another.”

Hajime pauses for half a moment getting his breath back and then he presses another one in.

It’s harder this time; Hajime tries to go slow but he can feel Tooru tensing up before he quickly relaxes again and Hajime stops. 

“Do you−” 

“No. No, no− Keep going. Fuck, keep going.” 

Tooru has put a forearm over his eyes and Hajime sees the long blue veins under the skin, the half-open and gasping mouth, the blush spreading down his chest. He looks older like this, more man than boy, and Hajime swallows.

(He knows the truth, though. He knows the boy. He knows his unbreakable devotion, his hard core and his harder love. He wants to know the man, too, but it’s still a bit too early for that, a bit too soon. He will, one day, but right now, for him, there’s only this moment, this night, _this_ ─ _them_ ). 

Hajime starts scissoring Tooru recalling what he’s read, remembering what he’s seen. Tooru has his feet firmly planted on the futon, knees bent and thighs marked with thick muscles, and sighs when Hajime tries to rotate his wrist, hips raising momentarily in the air. “Good?” Hajime asks slowing down, waiting for confirmation.

“Yeah,” Tooru rasps. “Yeah, just− just there− right _there−_ ” Hajime obeys and Tooru moans his name.

“God, Tooru,” Hajime pleads pressing his forehead to his knee, fingers shoving further in.

It’s─ new, and strange, and unlike anything Hajime has ever experienced before but at the same time it’s kind of familiar, being here with Tooru, both daring and eager and panting together, pushing forward, waging war and making love─

“ _Hah_ − Enough− Hajime, it’s enough−” Hajime has to swallow twice before he manages to talk, tongue gritty and mouth suddenly very, very dry. “You sure?” he asks. Tooru’s chest rises and falls as he breathes. “Yes. _Yes_.”

Hajime picks up the condom, and a bit of lube, and (fingers slightly shaking, heart beating fast) he sets between his legs and starts pushing in.

It’s hard to break the natural resistance of muscles; when he finally gets the head in, he stops and takes a breath. It’s tight, and hot, and _good_ , so tight and hot and good that Hajime has to close his eyes and take another deep breath, hands imperceptibly trembling over Tooru’s thighs.

He’s been craving this. He’s been craving this and he didn’t even know. And _God,_ does he crave other things too─ 

He wants to feel Tooru completely around him, intimate and deep and hot, and ( _fuck_ − _fuck, fuck, fuck_ he thinks when he imagines it) he wants to feel Tooru inside of him too.

Hajime wants it. 

Hajime wants it all.

With a groan he steadies his knees and keeps going slowly─ flesh closes so tightly around him that it’s hard to push in. Every inch seems like a delightful and arduous job, and when he’s halfway in Tooru speaks.

“I can’t,” he says, and Hajime automatically freezes. “I− I _can’t_.” He sounds frustrated through clenched teeth, and when Hajime looks at him he sees the arm tossed over his eyes trembling lightly, hand closed tight in a fist.

“I’m sorry,” he pants bitterly.

The first time they fuck, it goes like this: with Tooru apologizing and Hajime wanting to throw up.

“Okay−” Hajime rasps. “Okay− I’ll−”

He manages to stop the urge to pull out of him as fast as he can─ instead, he places a soothing hand on Tooru’s hip and pulls back excruciatingly slowly until he is completely out. Tooru sighs and drops his arm.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, panting hard. He looks frustrated too─ eyes dark and tense jaw, angry because he couldn’t make it─ angry because he ordered but his body said _no_. Tooru hates losing, especially if it is against his own body, against something he is supposed to be able to control.

“Fuck,” Hajime spits closing his eyes. He has a lump in his throat and suddenly he feels angry too. “ _Fuck_ , Tooru.”

Tooru sits up. His legs unfold and surround Hajime, and he cradles his face and brings their foreheads together.

“I’m sorry,” he says for the third time. His voice sounds focused and sober. Hajime wraps a hand around his wrist and opens his mouth.

“It’s not−” he snaps, quivering with rage. “It is− Fuck, it’s supposed to be enjoyable. It’s supposed to feel _good−_ ”

“I know,” Tooru says, thumbs stroking under his eyes.

“Fuck, Tooru,” he repeats angrily just because he can, and because he knows Tooru understands, and because he’s angry but maybe a little bit scared too.

Tooru hums and keeps quietly comforting him, hands steady and loving and so, so warm.

“It’s fine,” he says. And then, honest and vaguely frustrated again, furrowing his brow: “I wanted− I just wanted it too much.”

Hajime rubs his thumb over his pulse.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know.”

Tooru kisses under one of his closed eyes; he kisses his cheekbone, and his jaw, and his lips linger at the corner of Hajime’s mouth.

“Hajime,” he says, lips brushing against his. “Hajime, I love you so much.”

Hajime parts his lips and a small breath escapes them. His thumb presses against the soft flesh of Tooru’s wrist (those powerful, aristocratic wrists) and then he meets his mouth. 

They kiss sweetly, parting shortly to exhale wet breaths before one of them reaches to the other again. Tooru keeps holding him and every time they pull back he murmurs his name, flexible legs still surrounding him, his hand curling around the back of his neck. They fall back smoothly on the futon and their kisses grow heated and slower, with Hajime dragging his mouth down Tooru’s throat and Tooru sinking his fingers in Hajime’s lower back.

“Mh, Hajime…”

They are aroused and pliant and quiet again, soundlessly moaning and, Hajime notices, rock-hard. He manages to free himself from Tooru’s lips and hides his face in the crook of his neck to gather his breath and be able to talk, though it’s difficult when Tooru kisses his temple and then his ear.

With great effort Hajime leaves his hideout and leans back locking eyes with Tooru. He can’t help it─ despite his plans he leans in and kisses him hard again, lips all swollen and raw. Tooru kisses back, obviously (there’s _never_ been a time when he hasn’t kissed him back); Hajime can feel his fingers slowly trailing his spine and his erection pressing against his hip and with another herculean effort he manages to form sounds.

“Handjobs?” he asks between bites.

With insulting ease Tooru hooks a hand on Hajime’s nape pulling him back and holds him there.

“I want to try again,” he says.

Hajime swallows.

The first time they fuck it goes like this: with Tooru saying he wants to try again and Hajime knowing Tooru will wait for whatever he responds. 

“Me too,” he confesses after a few seconds with a hoarse voice.

Tooru smiles (a fast and a little crooked smile) and pulls him in.

It’s more familiar this time─ which doesn’t mean Hajime doesn’t feel tenser than before. This time he squeezes the lube and smears it all over his fingers. He presses one in, slow and careful, and Tooru takes it without any sign of discomfort.

“Hajime,” he exhales knowingly against his lips. He puts his arms around Hajime and makes them roll until they are lying on their sides. Then he puts his leg over Hajime’s hip. “Don’t think too much,” he lulls. “It’s fine. It’s− _ah…_ more than fine.”

Hajime’s heart is beating so strongly he thinks Tooru will hear it, but he doesn’t mind, not when Tooru is kissing him, and rutting against his own cock, and whispering furiously against his chin.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” and “Keep going− keep going, just like that,” and “There isn’t anything I don’t wanna do with you− you’re my partner− Hajime, you’re my−”

This time Hajime pours more lube into his fingers before he adds a second one. Tooru groans and (Hajime’s sure he’s going to pass out) fucks himself into his hand.

“Yes,” he gasps. His hands clutch Hajime’s jaw and he keeps pouring his heart out, all of his fierce and devouring love.

“I love you− Hajime, I love you. Are you listening...? I’m serious. I’m so fucking serious. I love you. Can you see that?”

“Yeah,” Hajime says, chest swelling up. He keeps moving his fingers in opening and closing movements, in and out. “I love you too. There’s no way− Fuck, there’s no way I couldn’t love you−”

“You’re my partner,” Tooru repeats pressing their foreheads together. “You have my heart−”

Hajime moans and it almost sounds like a cry. Gently Tooru holds his face and mutters his name and kisses him hard.

Hajime’s fingers are moving easily inside him now and, with just a millisecond-doubt, he takes them out, squeezes the bottle of lube, and tries pressing three in.

Tooru hums, hips rolling up, but doesn’t tell him to stop. Hajime feels some resistance at first but still the flesh opens up, and soon he’s two knuckles in and slowly pressing forward.

He thinks he now knows what to look for, thinks he can tell the signs that warn if suddenly something starts to go wrong, but he asks for Tooru’s confirmation all the same.

“Tooru− Tooru, are you okay?”

Tooru tilts his head back and looks at him panting and with heavy lidded eyes. His leg tightens over Hajime’s hip dragging him forward, erections firmly pressed together.

“Yeah,” he says sharply. He caresses Hajime’s red lips with his thumb, and watches closely when he makes him part them and Hajime pants.

“I’ve thought so much about it,” he confesses while Hajime starts to move his fingers. “I’ve thought about this… _Hah_ … about us…”

Hajime mumbles a mix of messy words, _me too_ , and _keep talking_ , and _Tooru, please_ −

He tries to scissor his fingers, and Tooru literally burns.

“God, Hajime,” he moans. “It feels good. It feels so good− I can’t wait to do the same to you. I can’t wait to pin you down and− ah…”

Hajime pleads his name and shivers, also burning up.

“Tooru,” he begs, but Tooru doesn’t have mercy upon him.

“Fuck me,” he commands. “Fuck me, fuck me _now_ −”

Hajime pulls his fingers out. He fumbles for the lube, coats his cock and then, without changing positions, he places himself at Tooru’s entrance and eases himself in.

It’s still tight but this time there’s no rejection to fight back. Hajime slides all the way in and it’s so easy, so smooth and fast that for half a second he honestly thinks he messed up and just slid past Tooru’s entrance and between his asscheeks or something like that, but then Tooru moans and tightens around him and Hajime knows he’s really inside.

“Tooru,” he says in a voice choked with emotion. One hand grabs Tooru’s strong thigh keeping his bent leg up and the other slides down his chest until it presses against his heart. “Tooru, talk to me. Are you− fuck− are you alright?”

Tooru straightens his back and unintentionally sinks himself deeper into Hajime’s cock.

They moan at the same time.

“Yeah,” he answers. “Yeah, it’s− it’s fucking _great−_ ” he says and then rolls his hips down. Hajime groans. “ _Move_ − move, Hajime.”

Hajime complies.

Honestly it’s not the best posture they could have found─ the angle is a little off and Hajime can’t really put his whole length inside but this is their first time and it works for them─ it works perfectly _fine_ ─ and so Hajime pulls his hips back and then thrust into him, and then he does it one more time, and then another one, and─

“Right there,” Tooru pants. “Right there− Right like that− You’re doing it so well− Fuck, you’re being so good−”

Hajime stumbles and his cock comes out.

“Shit,” he curses, “fuck−”

Before he can do anything Tooru reaches down and guides him back in with one hand.

“There,” he groans, and shakes his hips down.

In other universe they’d last longer (in the future, after some practice, they probably will) but they are 18 and inexperienced and eager and young so in this one and despite how much they’d like to stretch this perfect, all-consuming moment, Tooru wraps a hand around himself and says:

“Hajime.” 

He says: 

“I’m going to come.”

Hajime halts and then thrusts into him again with renewed fervor. It won’t be the first time he gives him an orgasm but he’s resolved to make this the best one so far.

“Come,” he breathes between thrusts, “come whenever you want.”

Tooru puts a hand around Hajime’s throat and tips his head back.

“You too,” he says. “I want to see you cum like this. I want to see you cum inside me.”

Hajime moans.

In the end there isn’t much of a choice for them─ Tooru comes first and, _yes_ , he would tell Hajime later, _it was the best fucking one_ , and Hajime comes not long after, and Tooru gets to rapturously watch his face (his trembling Adam’s apple, his open lips, his closing eyes) as he does so.

In the end they lie facing each other, sweat cooling down and legs intertwined.

“Thank you,” Hajime says brushing with his fingers Tooru’s hair, and there are so many things contained in those two words. Tooru’s hand (always steady, always firm, always there to hold and love him) cradles his face.

“Hajime,” he says sleepily. “Always. Whatever you need.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> I can't English anymore so I'm sorry if there're many mistakes. Please, please, please feel free to tell me if there're so


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